Surgery successful. 🙂 Figuring out mobility and stimulation for a frightened girl on the spectrum much tougher. This is a mish-mash of my thoughts in connection.
Too tired to articulate much.
Feel like my life has been
More or less sucked
Down a long, narrow hole.
Scrambling to stay up,
Dirt breaking beneath my
Snatching desperately at pieces of
Routine to buoy me,
Only to have them snap off in my hand
Like flimsy blades of grass.
Love and pain and helpless worry
Swell in my heavyish heart.
Feel so selfish to want for peace
Over what should be matter-of-fact sacrifice.
Isn’t this motherhood, after all?
Where is my willing patience
And brimming bowl of sage advice?
Instead, I am full of prickliness and
Overpowering waves of inadequacy.
Terrible to fixate on my own feelings.
What about hers?
She is the stuck one, after all.
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