Crush. Diary #2

Esther's blog

​I was so happy this evening, and now I want to…I don’t even know. Okay no I wasn’t happy. I am not freaking happy. I am trying not to think of what happened this evening. No I’m not.

I hate when I begin to feel freaking pathetic, and I can’t help it.

When I hear my friends talk about the way they don’t mind if they don’t end up with no body, I know it’s not something I can do. I need someone. Its not in the way by which I can’t function without having someone. I can. I just have to feel like I have someone.

I…sometimes I think I’m not capable of really liking anyone.

I just… I’m not even sure how to convey all I’m really feeling right now.

I don’t talk to people about my business. I don’t talk to girl friends about guy stuff. I…

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